How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize