I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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