I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
