For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
