Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
