The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
