And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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