Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize