She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
