can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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