So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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