your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
