i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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