hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
