how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
