1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize