OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
