I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
