I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
dude. I can hear the air.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize