hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What drink are we having for lunch?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
