ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
