His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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