Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
