Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
