new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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