No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
