I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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