P.S. I can't hear my feet
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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