You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
