At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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