Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
