you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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