I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so let's talk penis.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
