I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize