Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
