just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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