I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
