i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize