ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
