i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
