I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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