can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
