Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
