I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
