i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
