you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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