What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
