Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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