Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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