I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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