What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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