the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Drake has all the answers
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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