He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
