just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
