She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
