We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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