Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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