I want to have your abortion
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
