Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so let's talk penis.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
