remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
