found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
