the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
