fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize