You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
