You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
