evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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