I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
worst night to have a conscience
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
