we have pet lesbian snakes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
