so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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