I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
