he wants to bone in the snuggie
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Panties = found
Randomize