maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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