Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
