i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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