wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just high enough for therapy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
