Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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