tell your sister to shave her snatch
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
