So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
