I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
