Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
