I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
