she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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