I'm drive I can fine osifer
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
