Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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