the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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