I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
