I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
